There are certainly great sensitivities associated with sexuality in any culture. Attitudes about it are ever changing. In many fundamental Christian circles it is almost taboo to discuss. In most of society it is so open pornography is a multi-billion dollar business. Below are reasons why Christians treat intimacy the way they do, and reasons why society acts as it does.
Christain marriage and relationships are supposed to be for Christ, about Christ, honorable to Christ, and devoted to Christ.
Many believe Christians are afraid to discuss intimacy. We are not afraid. We simply believe it is a, well, intimate subject. It is best left in the most personal of relationships. In other words, Christians have the utmost respect for intimacy.
Sex is an activity of the greatest trust between two people. This naturally lends itself to vulnerability. As explained in Meeism in Marriage, proper intimte relations (within the monogamous, heterosexual marriage relationship) glorifies the Lord (Hebrews 13:4). 1 Corinthians 7:4 describes how complete our submission to one another is to be. Man and woman forfeit the power over their own bodies to one another. Christians marry for God’s glory, giving ourselves wholly to one another. To Christians, intimacy means complete trust in one another. There is no deeper relationship outside our relationship with God himself.
A normal understanding of Meeism leads to sexuality in the world being about self. We are naturally at enmity with God (Romans 8:7). We tend to walk after the flesh and defile ourselves (2 Peter 2:10). Before we accept Christ, everything we do we do for ourselves. We work for ourselves, play for ourselves, entertain ourselves, fulfill our desires, everything we do is oriented toward what we want. Before we know Christ we have no ability to repress this selfishness. After we accept Christ we change. Ephesians 2:3 describes it this way,
we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and where by nature the children of wrath even as others.
The change is described in Ephesians 4:22 and 24,
That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts…And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
Consider the exploitation of sex in the world today, then consider the opening of this discussion and the operation of God’s selfless love. Sexual promiscuity is the opposite of God’s desires. God created marriage for husband to give himself wholly to wife, and wife wholly to husband. Unlike the commonly known erroneous representations of how women are treated, equality is an essential part of a Christian marriage relationship.
Intimacy is about giving selflessly just as Christ gave himself selflessly. We could easily argue the world’s quest for sexual fulfillment will never be satisified and results in greater and greater distortions. Like the gradual escalation in addictions, growing deviancy in sexual exploitation is a natural result of lacking contentedness. True fulfillment comes through commitment and giving yourself wholly to that commitment by being content sacrificing for another. Christian relationships are supposed to be more intellectual and spiritual than physical, the world’s relationships are often more physical and emotional than intellectual.
Because marriage and intimacy are supposed to be for God’s glory, and a purpose of marriage is to avoid condemnation, same sex marriage cannot be condoned in scripture. The author is aware that in society today these statements are challenging and unpopular. However, society is not concerned with pleasing God as are true followers of Christ.
Can marriage be between same sex, man with man, woman with woman? In Meesim in Marriage we found the definition of agapē love to include 100% giving with no expectation of reciprocation. This is equally true of physical intimacy. Homosexual or lesbian interactions concern fulfilling personal/physical desires, it opposes the biblical description of selfless agapē love. The Christian’s first agapē is God and His sinlessness.
God’s word describes homosexuality and lesbianism as “uncleanness…the lusts of their own hearts…(a) dishonor (of) their own bodies” (Romans 1:24) It is a change of “the truth of God into a lie” (v25) The Bible goes further, “vile affections” and “change the natural use into that which is against nature” (v26). Some liberal commentators try to deny these truths. Romans 1:27 says,
And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.
Homosexuality is an error with consequences. In Leviticus 18:22; 20:13 homosexuality and lesbianism are called abominations.
Notice, as with all sin the activities are condemned. Jesus died to forgive the sins of the whole world. People are condemned when they continue in sin exhibiting disdain and disbelief for Jesus salvation. Continuing in sin is the opposite of Epheshians 4:22 and 24 above. This is true regardless the sin.
To the Christian, the greatest enjoyment is to serve the Lord, giving ourselves as selflessly as He sacrificed himself for our eternal life; to emulate Christ’s perfect selflessness and dedication to the Father in all parts of our lives. He gave up life in Heaven to come to earth. He gave up life without pain for life with bumps, cuts and bruises. He gave up perfect emotional and spiritual harmony for complete emotional and spiritual turmoil. He gave up perfect magnanimous love in Heaven to live among hate filled self-absorbed humans. He gave up His right to judge to be judged by the unrighteous. He gave up His life so you could have life. That is the Jesus I know and love. All He asks is that you believe.